The Great Pizza Disaster of 2009

My parents are away for the weekend, so like any teenage girl, I decided to bust out the cooking skills and blast my (classic rock) music.

My friend Mary came back from college this weekend, so I decided to have some friends over and make pizza. I had a really awesome idea for buffalo pizza, for which I had specifically bought Teese when I was in DC, and was excited to make it.

Everything was going very well. I made the dough, made the buffalo tofu (somewhat similar to this one) and sauce, and assembled the pizza. I put it in the oven for the specified time, and was trying to figure out how I was going to make two different pizzas when I only had one pizza pan (I had enough dough for 2 pizzas, and wanted to make a more standard pizza for those who might not like the buffalo tofu).

When the pizza was ready to come out of the oven, I tried to maneuver it out with hot pads but was not used to a) it being on the bottom rack or b) a 500-degree oven. I almost got it out, and then… the tipping point. The whole damn pizza, pan and all, flipped over and landed upside down on the rack, spilling all of its toppings onto the bottom & door of the oven as well as between the hinges of where the oven opens.

The Great Pizzaster

Cue me screaming expletives at the top of my lungs.
Cue me starting to bawl hysterically, frightening my poor kitten half to death.

Okay, I’m not going to lie, my first thought was “how can I salvage this??” But it soon became apparent that salvaging was not an option.

Of course I knew I needed to take a picture of the disaster so I could document it here, but couldn’t remember how to work my camera, I was so hysterical. Ruining food is one of the things I hate the most… Wasting my time, wasting my energy, and most of all wasting the food itself. I had been really excited to see how the pizza would turn out, since it was something new and fun.

40 minutes later, my friends started arriving and, being the most awesome friends in the world that they are, calmed me down and even cleaned my oven (…and floor…) for me. I had put the ruined pizza on a cookie sheet, and was just throwing the tofu on top as I pulled it out of the depths of my oven. We joked that we would feed it to the last person to arrive (poor Mike).

Mike arrived and we offered the pizza to him, but did not actually feed it to him. We all enjoyed leftover gaycake, and as they were finishing it off I made a second pizza (since thankfully I was planning on making two anyway), topped with the rest of the Teese, zucchini, roasted red pepper, and black olives.

Teese Pizza: The Second

This time, I had Mike remove it from the oven for me because I did not trust myself. It made it out of the oven and onto our plates (and into our bellies!) safely and deliciously.

Slice of Teese pizza

By the end of the night I found myself laughing as hysterically as I had previously been bawling. But damn, I really want to know how my buffalo tofu would’ve turned out… I guess I just need to find some more Teese.


5 thoughts on “The Great Pizza Disaster of 2009

  1. Hey, at least kitchen disasters make for great blog material, right? I’m sorry you lost your pizza, though… I hear you on hating to waste food. That *really* bugs me. But yay for good friends and a yummy pizza. 🙂

  2. Sorry about the pizza disaster! A few months ago I tried to make pizza for the first time and had a big disaster too. I didn’t find it funny at the time, but now I can laugh about it. (My second attempt was successful!) I’m glad your second pizza turned out okay.

  3. Oh, sorry about the pizza disaster! I still would’ve eaten eat. I’m glad you can laugh about it now.

    Last week I was toasting some bread in my oven and the first time I pulled it out, the slice fell to the floor. The second time it was burnt. Go fig!

  4. Pingback: Leftovers, Redefined | Louzilla Lovegood Letters

  5. Pingback: Belated Buffalo Tofu Pizza | Louzilla Lovegood Letters

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